I still miss her. I still find her loss an intolerable injustice. I am astonished that the book has found such a broad audience, but the person I most want to read it never will. In fact, she is still saving me, all the time. In these pages, and in my memories, she reminds me that a short life can also be a good and rich life, that it is possible to live with depression without being consumed by it, and that meaning in life is found together, in family and friendship that transcends and survives all manner of suffering.
That is not the weird part. I have no idea. Why, you ask? Well I drew this very not-so-good self-portrait of myself the other day, and Abe saw it. Without any picture? To me it seemed more insightful than something that bothered me. However Mom heard, and Dad too, and later Dad said Mom cried.
But I kind of think of Abe as not remembering, but everyone else as. I hope not all the memories are bad. Another thing Abraham said which was funny and not sad woo! Just one more! It was funny funny. Oh yeah! We decorated our Christmas tree last night! Dad and the boys went to Home Depot and picked a pre-cut one that they brought home and set in the corner of the living room.
We then ate dinner, which was stew, and, yes! Minus Abby though. So that was loads of fun! I wish Angie had stayed upstairs long enough. Apparently she was tired last night, go figure. And because of that I think I get along best out of us sisters, because of it, with the parents. I think Angie respects them even less, just by the way she treats them, but maybe not.
I think I just completely contradicted myself there, hah. What the heck is normal? Healthy is, I guess, my definition of it. Reprinted with permission of Dutton Books. Skip to main content. Close close Donate. Listen Live: Radio Boston. Close Close. And it's true. We have to be careful. But it's also - it's an avenue to community. She's on the line. And I'd just, no, no, no. That's your thing.
I want to - OK, is it a real person? OK, good. Well, but ultimately it's about cancer. I mean, you know, she has all of this that distracts, that gets her to feel like she's outside of that room.
But ultimately, it's about cancer. And she blogs about that too. Let's listen to another YouTube video of Esther Earl.
EARL: I feel bored. I feel so many more feelings, but there are so many that I just can't even find them. I feel slightly overwhelmed by that - that I can't even figure what all my feelings are. And I feel sad about things that have happened in my life.
And I feel happy that I'm still alive. But I feel kind of ashamed that I'm not doing that much with my life. EARL: There's lots of things that are hard. After Esther left us, I couldn't go into make-up aisles for a long time because she was known for her crazy eye shadow and I never walked out of a store without buying her something.
Like, she was getting this fame, and all these people were loving her but, you know, I'm fooling you all because - this is from that same passage - I'm not this perfect person. EARL: She was pretty amazing. But she was just a real person. That's what she was saying. Hey, I'm just like you. This week, as we said, they attended a screening of "The Fault In Our Stars," the film inspired by the book, inspired by their daughter. The story of Hazel and Gus, two teens with cancer.
We called them up to get their thoughts. And I know you both loved the film, but what was it like to see it? But as the movie progressed, I was just immersed in the story - love story - of Hazel and Gus and, you know, their situation. Was this, maybe, a gift to you from John Green - the love, maybe, that she could have had? But I don't want to presume anything.
But yeah, it's a bit gratifying to be able to think of Esther and think, this is the life and the love that she, you know, could have had. And Wayne, Lori wrote us a note and said there's one scene when Hazel's carried by her dad into the hospital. That had to be tough. EARL: Oh, that's - yeah 'cause that's our story, isn't it? She shook her head and said no. A scene from Harry Potter popped into his head, and he thought about how Harry didn't stop to say goodbye as he walked into the Forbidden Forest to defeat Voldemorte, thinking he would die in the act.
He had to face death on his own. The next day, people who knew Esther or had found her online mourned, and Green posted another video called "Rest in Awesome, Esther. Three months after Esther died, Green threw out the book he was working on about a kid on a deserted Island and decided it was time to write a book about illness, a topic he had experimented with following his five months as a student chaplain at a children's hospital.
Although he already had 70, words of a children's hospital book written, he started over. He called it "The Fault in Our Stars. His main character became Hazel Grace Lancaster Grace is also Esther's middle name , who had terminal thyroid cancer and an oxygen tank named Phillip. Hazel isn't meant to "be" Esther, Green said, but he couldn't have written the first sentence without knowing her. He said she taught him two things: that teenagers can be empathetic in ways he never knew, and that sick people aren't "fundamentally other.
With a boost from Green's video, money started pouring into the Earls' fund for Esther's treatment. She said she uses speaking engagements to talk about the organization and "the impact of one life and how one person can make a difference even if that one person is sick.
They get letters and messages daily from the U. Before Esther died, Wayne Earl promised her three things: to get a tattoo, to write a book about her story and to follow her example. He's done or is doing all three. Esther's biography is finished and expected to hit shelves this winter, but the title is still top secret, Wayne Earl said. He did, however, post a scene to his blog. Writing the book was painful, he said, but overall, it was therapeutic.
Because of the community surrounding Esther's memory, the book is expected to sell 25, to 50, copies, he said. We'll notify you here with news about. Turn on desktop notifications for breaking stories about interest? Comments 0. Top Stories. Expert at Rittenhouse trial zeroes in on just a few minutes 28 minutes ago.
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